TW: eating disorders
I’m recovering from an eating disorder. I struggled with bulimia, and while I have been in therapy and am on medication to help regulate those behaviors, it’s still a part of my life that I have to actively tussle with. One day, I hope to be free of it, but for now, it’s the small victories that count.
So imagine my frustration when that part of my life reared its head in my Book Safe Space ™!
I specifically remember Sarah J. Maas writing about how much weight her heroines would lose and how concerned it made everyone. That is not what you want the Voice in Your Head to hear. That’s ammo that your struggles will use against you (“You’re not tiny enough yet. People aren’t concerned. Keep going.”) And, truly, it didn’t feel like it added much to the story considering how often it was brought up. I’ll avoid spoilers, but Feyre’s emaciation is meant to give her lover a chance to prove that he cares for her. After all, nourishment is a basic need. That proof that the lover wants to help her didn’t need to rely solely on her eating behaviors. With how often it was mentioned, it felt like a feature and not a part of the larger picture of her depression.
I’ve also noticed it in some of Freida McFadden’s works. I had to stop reading one of them pretty early on because of the references to anorexia. Even some of the others drew a little heavily on eating habits, and while McFadden’s choices did feel as though they boosted characterization and plot, there were definitely a few points where I was thinking to myself, “Yes, and? Anything else, or is that the only personality trait they have?”
All this to say, I’m overly sensitive to the issue. Food habits in these examples are not the headlines. People aren’t reading them to read about emaciation and anorexic tendencies (and if they are, I’m fairly certain there are works out there in which eating disorders are more prominently discussed, which renders that a moot point, anywho). I don’t think these authors actually need to change anything, and I don’t think they meant anything bad by writing their stories this way. I suppose I just needed to let off some distress!
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